Two words: Tactical corsets. (via Ace)
BoingBoing describes this gizmo as "a corset that's bulletproof, comes with pistol holster, pepper spray holster, and an 'interrogation pouch.'" Can you say "under armor"? (No relation to the athletic wear manufacturer.)
Sadly, the corset company's website sucks major eggs; the internal links don't seem to work for me on any of the three browsers I use. This image, though, is a classic:
Now, maybe you're a guy who's wondering how he could be attracted to a woman who wears a corset. Listen to me: You've heard of Gordon Liddy's cheesecake calendar "Stacked and Packed"? This lends new meaning to the term "packed." I'd almost like to order one myself, although just for the storage space, mind you. Guess I'll have to wait till they come out with a tactical jock strap.
Last summer, I put a post up at Pillage Idiot describing a German "bullet-resistant" bra. Feel free to click through. Or not. I noted an article there that describes " the world's first - and so far only - combined brassiere and gun holster," which also holds pepper spray. And I suggested that if such a bra had been designed in Germany, it would have been called:
ein Pfefferspritzpistolentaschebüstenhalter
Maybe it wasn't funny the first time, but I felt an urge to use that word again.
BONUS: Not quite related, except in immaturity level. You know how certain types of hard bicycle seats can cause discomfort in sensitive anatomical regions, like Union County, New Jersey? Here's a video that answers a similar question posed by Ace: "FAQ: How Can I Alleviate Some of the Pressure on My Sensitive Genitals While Sitting at the Computer?"
True excerpt from the video: "Loose trousers are best. Try without underwear."
Ace says, "Good call on the narrator. When you're discussing genitals, you want a narrator with an unplaceable and creepy foreign accent." Be sure to read the comments after watching the video.
And Mind the Gap!
No comments:
Post a Comment