A day in the life of Barack Obama

I. Breakfast at the IHOP.

Obama: We have sought -- in word and deed -- a new era of engagement with the world. Now is the time for all of us to take our share of responsibility for a global response to global challenges. But those who take actions that are dangerous to the world must be held accountable. Of course, we respect their rights as members of the community of nations. However, we are concerned that you, here at the International House of Pancakes, may be enriching your sausages and weaponizing your waffles.

Waitress: Our kitchens are used only for peaceful purposes. You can inspect them at any time.

Waitress: Any time next month, that is.

Obama: This is important. Would next year be convenient for you?

II. Afternoon: Coffee at Starbucks

Barista: What can I get for you this afternoon?

Obama: Chicago is a city where the practical and the inspirational exist in harmony; where visionaries who made no small plans rebuilt after a great fire and taught the world to reach new heights.

Barista: Excuse me?

Obama: It’s a bustling metropolis with the warmth of a small town; where the world already comes together every day to live and work and reach for a dream -- a dream that no matter who we are or where we’re from; no matter what we look like or what hand life has dealt us, with hard work, and discipline, and dedication, we can make it if we try.

Barista: Sir, that's very interesting, but would you please tell me what drink you choose today?

Obama: Let me be clear. We must avoid a false choice that will not serve our people or any people. We stand at a moment in history when the fate of each nation is inextricably linked to the fate of all nations -- a time of common challenges that require a common effort. And I ran for President because I believed deeply that at this defining moment, the United States of America has a responsibility to help lead that effort, and to forge new partnerships with the nations and peoples of the world.

Michelle: Coffee is a gift I shared with my dad, especially Starbucks coffee. Some of my best memories are sitting on my dad's lap, inhaling the aroma of a decaf double espresso with skim and just a dash of cinnamon. But I never dreamed that Starbucks might one day light up lives in my neighborhood -- along with about 14,000 other neighborhoods everywhere.

Barista: Uh, may I help the next person, please?

III. Evening: First Pitch at "Cominsky Field"

(Obama is on the mound, with telepromters on either side of him)

Obama: Nearly one year ago, on a clear November night, people from every corner of the world gathered in the city of Chicago or in front of their televisions to watch the results of the U.S. Presidential election. Their interest wasn’t about me as an individual. Rather, it was rooted in the belief that America’s experiment in democracy still speaks to a set of universal aspirations and ideals. It sprung from the hope that in this ever-shrinking world, our diversity could be a source of strength and cause for celebration; and that with sustained work and determination, we could learn to live and prosper together during the fleeting moment we share on this Earth.

(Meanwhile, in the team's box, Jerry Reinsdorf, White Sox president, makes an urgent phone call.)

Jerry Reinsdorf: Is the President of Brazil still in the stadium? Tell him he can throw out the first pitch. The way this is going, we're never going to start the game.

(An announcement comes over the P.A. system, interrupting Obama's speechifying.)

Announcer: The first pitch has been awarded to Rio de Janeiro on a vote of 84-13.

IV. Late night interview on CNN.

David Axelrod: I think there's still a lot of anger, skepticism, and distrust out there because of the arrogance of our predecessor, with all his cowboy diplomacy, and it's going to take a while for the President's overtures to be seen as a new beginning in our relations with the rest of the world.